


Honour and Wantonness

by theonsfavouritetoy



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV), Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
Genre: F/M, M/M, Other, a lot sluttier than p&p though, another one of my stupid ideas, just for the fun of it, please don't hate me austen fans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-29
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-21 08:48:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 21
Words: 16,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11940579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theonsfavouritetoy/pseuds/theonsfavouritetoy
Summary: Catelyn Stark is desperate to marry off her many children.When a young woman rents a neighbourhood castle, she sees her chance.





	1. A Promising Start

**Author's Note:**

> My two favourite books mashed together^^  
> Now that GoT is over again until godsknowwhen I have to pass the time somehow.
> 
> You'll notice I altered a lot of Family relationships and characters and ages and everything. I hope you'll forgive me.  
> And I just want to note that Jane Austen was a brilliant genius and I'm just some bored freak who butchers her work.

Lady Catelyn Stark can’t believe her luck.  
A very wealthy and well-known young woman has sat up residence near Winterfell. A very wealthy unmarried woman! Lady Catelyn has three sons and a bastard to marry off, so this is very welcome news. She goes to her husband.

„Ned, have you heard it? About the young woman renting Moat Cailin? Her name is Greyjoy, and she is very well liked in the community, and she has A HUNDRED SHIPS at her command! I know the sea is far away, but still. Wouldn’t she be a fine wife for one of our boys? You must visit her, and invite her to Robb’s nameday feast! She may very likely fall in love with him!“

Lord Eddard Stark smiles at his wife.  
„And what if she likes Jon best of all?“

„Oh, I know that boy is your favourite. But I can’t forget I’m not his mother. Let’s hear no more of that subject, my poor nerves. Why shouldn’t she fall in love with Robb? He’s the most handsome of our boys.“

„And the only one old enough to marry, besides Jon. Rickon is only eleven years old!“

„Oh, but Bran could be betrothed to someone. He’s fifteen this year. And Robb is already four and twenty! He’s much too old to be unmarried still. And your darling Jon is three and twenty. Although I’m still not entirely confident he’s interested in marriage, anyways.“

And she gives her husband a disdainful look.

Lord Stark shakes his head. All these underhand innuendos about Jon’s… preferences. So what if his son preferred the company of his own sex? Even the king’s own brother is a known deviant, and no one seems to bother too much.

But he consents to visit the new neighbour on the morrow.

When he’s back home again, his wife and daughters attack him as soon as he’s through the door.

„Did you see her?“  
„What was she wearing?“  
„Has she really got a hundred ships?“  
„Will she come to Robb’s nameday?“

He tries to settle them, but to no avail.

„Yes, I’ve seen Lady Asha, she’s a very eloquent young woman. She has accepted your invitation, Cat, and please, Sansa, I have no idea what she was wearing. Clothes, I guess. Arya, I didn’t see her ships, they’re at her father’s islands. How in the seven hells did you think she was supposed to get them here? Cat, she’s bringing her uncle and her brother to the feast.“

Lady Catelyn is very satisfied with her husband’s report.

„Maybe they are suited for the girls, Ned! I cannot believe I have a daughter of nineteen that is not even betrothed yet!“


	2. First Impressions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robb's nameday feast is part success, part disaster.

The day of Robb’s nameday approaches fast and he and his brother Jon are getting ready for the feast in Robb’s chamber.  
Robb is a nervous mess. His mother has ordered him to look his absolute best and be his most charming self for the new neighbour. He turns to his brother.

„Jon, what do you think? Will this tunic do? Should I comb my hair again?“

Jon smiles at him reassuringly.

„You look absolutely wonderful, Robb. She’d be mad not to like you!“

He himself is dressed very nicely as well. He doesn’t want to outshine his brother, not today with Lady Catelyn on the watch, but he doesn’t want to look too plain either. But Robb was always the prettiest of them all, so Lady Cat shouldn’t worry too much.

And really, when they greet Lady Asha as she arrives, her gaze lingers on Robb for a long while, she smiles and extends her hand.

„Will you walk me to the table, my lord?“

And Robb, Jon can see it, is already halfway in love with this attractive young woman. He takes her hand and she introduces her companions to Lord and Lady Stark.

„May I present my uncle, Aeron Greyjoy. He’s living with me at the moment to help me with the castle’s upkeep. My brother, Theon Greyjoy. He’s the Lord of the Iron Islands since our father has retired to a smaller isle."

Everyone is impressed by the good looks and the obvious wealth and status of this Theon Greyjoy, Jon is no exception. But his arrogant and cold demeanour soon isolates him among the Winterfell community.  
Lady Catelyn is only slightly disappointed. Lady Asha’s uncle and brother are not suitable for her girls, pity, but Robb and Lady Asha appear to get on exceptionally well and have already danced together three times.

Jon is sitting down at the moment, he’s not that much of a dancer. He enjoys dancing, but the girls he has to dance with are just a bunch of silly, giggling chicks and he’s not in the mood for pretending to be interested in any of them. So he’s just danced once with his sister Arya and now he’s content with listening to the conversations around him.

He notices Lady Asha breaking from the dance to join her brother, who’s standing not far from where Jon is seated.

„Theon, come dance with us. There’s plenty of young girls who’d love to dance with you. Don’t be so dull! See, there’s one of Lady Stark’s daughters sitting just there, with the black curls, the one dressed in breeches?“

„That’s a boy, sister, are you blind? Why would a girl wear breeches?“

„I am, am I not? And that’s a boy? My, my, what a pretty little thing! He’s not as handsome as his brother, but he’s a sight to behold for sure. Why don’t you dance with HIM, then?“

Jon can’t believe his ears. Is Lady Asha really saying her brother should dance with another man?  
Lord Theon’s answer has him go red with anger and shame.

„Yes, yes, he’s pretty but not pretty enough for me to make a spectacle of myself in front of all these strangers. I’m not inclined to dance today, thank you very much. Go and enjoy the lordling’s smiles, he’s the only really pretty one in here anyway.“

Lady Asha shrugs and returns to Robb who greets her with a wide smile and eager eyes.  
Jon is speechless. No one has ever spoken so contemptuous about him, not even Lady Catelyn.

He gets up as quickly as he can and rushes to Arya, who’s sipping at some mead on the other side of the hall with Sansa. He feels Theon Greyjoy’s gaze on his back the whole way, and when he tells his sisters about what he overheard he can still feel it. Arya snickers, but Sansa frowns.

„He’s much too proud and arrogant for our comfortable Winterfell party, isn’t he? But don’t show your disdain too obviously, he’s still very rich and influental.“

Arya giggles again.  
„He’s still looking at you, Jon!“

Jon couldn’t care less about where this stupid oaf is looking or not. He just wants to go to bed already, but it’s Robb’s nameday and even if Robb is too busy flirting with Lady Asha, he can’t leave just yet.  
Lord Stark steps behind them and rests one arm on Jon’s shoulder.

„What have I heard? The Kraken Prince has slighted my boy? I hope you’ve reprimanded him, Jon!“  
„No, father. I was too gobsmacked to even look at him, really.“  
„Well, well, it’s better that way. But I would love to see him thrown into the dirt by you some time.“

Jon smiles wryly.  
„I dearly hope I shall never see his arrogant face ever again!“


	3. A not so welcome Invitation for some

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robb and Jon get invited to Moat Cailin

The next morning Robb sits at the breakfast table with a curiously red face. Lady Asha however looks like the cat that got the cream.  
Lady Catelyn is both pleased and scandalized, and when Lady Asha adresses her, she cannot hide her glee.

„Would you allow me, Lady Stark, to take your son with me when we go back to Moat Cailin today? I really want to get to know him better! I promise to return him to you in a fortnight!“  
„But of course, my dear! I am certain Robb will accept with pleasure, won’t you, Robb?“

And Robb nods, but he adds,  
„My lady, can I take my brother Jon with me? I’m sure your affairs will take enough of your time, and I would be glad to have my brother as company.“

Lady Asha throws her brother who’s silently sitting next to her a sly glance. He refuses to look back at her, so she smiles wickedly.

„But of course you should bring your brother, by all means! I would be loath to leave you all to yourself when I’m busy. And when we spend time together, I’m certain we’ll find ample amusements for your brother.“

Lady Catelyn rolls her eyes, but she does never speak against her husband’s son in company. Instead she smiles sweetly at Robb.  
„You best go tell Jon then, my dear. He needs to pack. And you as well!“

When Robb’s gone she turns to Lady Asha.  
„Forgive me, dear, but I must speak plainly. You seem pleased with my oldest son, and since you’re unmarried…“

Lady Asha smiles.

„Your son is the most handsome and charming young man I have ever seen, my lady. I would love to get to know him better, and we’ll see from there.“

Lady Catelyn is not very satisfied, but she’s bright enough to know not to press the matter now. So she just smiles and leaves Lady Asha and Lord Theon to their breakfast.

As soon as they’re alone he turns toward her.

„Have you lost your mind, sister? Why on earth would we want Ned Stark’s bastard son to visit us? I don’t know what you’re up to, but don’t tell me you’re just doing it to please your new plaything.“

Asha throws her head back and laughs.  
„Oh, brother, you’ll see. We’ll have some great fun with our guests, and of course I’m doing this for Robb. Why should he have to be by himself when I have business to do? Or would you like to entertain him?“

Theon’s face reddens in anger and contempt.  
„I have never stolen one of your toys from you, no matter how handsome. I won’t start now.“

„That‘ s good to hear, brother. That’s good to hear.“

***

Jon cannot believe his brother would do this to him.

„Are you really so exceptionally oblivious, Robb? Why would I want to spent an ENTIRE FORTNIGHT with Lady Asha and her idiot lord brother???“

Robb makes his best puppy eyes at him.  
„Because I ask you to?“

Jon feels himself relent. He’d do anything for Robb, really.

„So… you like her, then? She’s very attractive.“

„I do like her a lot, Jon! Yesterday, after the feast, she came into my room and-„  
Robb breaks off, blushing.

„And?“  
„And we did some things. You know, improper things!!!“

Jon laughs.  
„I knew it when I first saw her, this lady is very unladylike whenever it suits her. Perfect for my shy, honourable brother, isn’t she?“

But Robb only throws a sock at Jon.  
„Oh, shut up and pack!“


	4. Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner and games

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for dragging Kyra into this. She makes it out alive and well, I promise!

Jon is glad to see that Lady Asha‘s brother and uncle are riding in a carriage, while she herself rides with Robb and him.  
After a long journey they arrive at Moat Cailin, where they are welcomed by a beautiful young woman.

„Welcome home, my lady, my lords. And this must be our honoured guests, Lord Robb Stark of Winterfell, and Jon Snow of Winterfell. I hope you will feel right at home, my lords!“

Jon wants to sink into the ground when he’s adressed like that. And he’s sure he’s seen a disdainful little smile on Theon Greyjoy’s stupid lips. Oh, fuck him!

But at least Lady Asha is a very thoughtful hostess. She introduces the young woman as her stuart and confidante, Kyra.

She’s given them the best chambers in the whole castle, Robb is sure of it, and Jon can’t disagree. His and Robb’s are not near each other, both in a different part of the castle and generously furnished, with huge hearths and lavish furs everywhere.

Lady Asha leaves them to unpack , but invites them to dinner.

„Rest now, my lords, I’ll have a bath brought to each of you later. I have to see things over, but I would love for you to accompany me tonight. We shall dine, and later play some games if you like?“

She looks at Robb with a small wink at the word „games“ and he blushes furiously. Jon rolls his eyes but smiles knowingly at Lady Asha, who gives him a wink as well when she feels his gaze.  
When she’s gone Jon breaks out in loud laughter.

„Oh Robb, I don’t know if she hasn’t too much fire for you. You should’ve seen yourself!“

„Will you shut up, Jon? The last times she said, let’s play some games, she-„  
„She…?“  
„Go to sleep. Or drown in the tub, I don’t care, just shut up!“

Jon laughs again at Robb’s flustered expression.

„I’m just teasing you, brother. I’m sure, in this case „games“ just means something like cards or dice.“  
And he winks again at Robb before retiring into his room.

****

After a much needed bath and a short nap Jon feels as ready as he’ll ever be to face the Greyjoy party in the great hall. Jon makes his way to the great hall.

When he arrives, everybody else is already assembled and he feels uncomfortable, as all eyes are on him while he seats himself beside Robb, who gives him a little nudge for being late.  
Lady Asha just smiles at him and everyone goes back to their dinner. Everyone except Theon Greyjoy. He’s still staring at Jon with a dark and dour expression, that Jon cannot understand. What has he ever done to this man to make him so sullen around him all the time? Is it just his being a bastard? Fuck Theon Greyjoy!

After dinner Asha asks Robb and her uncle to play cards with her and since Jon has no love for gambling, he asks for a book from Lady Asha’s library instead. This is of course granted, and soon he’s engrossed in a fascinating read about the men of the Night’s Watch.

He notices Theon Greyjoy also not playing, he seems to be writing a letter. Kyra has joined the players, and though she seems to have a lot of fun, Jon can’t help but register the little glances she throws Lord Theon’s way. He finds it funny how they are outright ignored and smiles to himself.  
When Kyra sees him smile, she lays down her cards.

„Mylord Snow, won’t you walk with me a bit? I can’t sit on these hard benches anymore!“

Jon is surprised, but readily takes her arm. He doesn’t want to be discourteous to his hostess‘ friend. And she seems nice enough, when she asks him about the book he was reading, about his siblings and his likes and dislikes. But he still sees her eyes flickering over to Lord Theon every so often.

And her plan seems to be working at last, the lord’s eyes are following them through the room.

Lady Asha throws down her Cards with a sigh.  
„Nobody’s concentrating anyway. Come, dear, we’ll retire!“

And she grabs Robb’s hand who looks at Jon, panicked as if he’s about to be abducted by a grumkin. Jon just waves at him which makes Lady Asha laugh.

„Don’t wait with breakfast for us tomorrow, dear uncle. We’ll get up very late!“

And with that she leaves, dragging a lethally blushing Robb behind her.

When Jon retires he’s very glad that his chamber is in a completely different part of the castle than Robb’s.


	5. Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected visit and an unexpected decision

Jon wakes up very early the next morning. The sun isn’t even fully up when he steps out of the castle, into the chilly morning air.

When Lady Asha had the castle rebuilt, she added a large garden with an artifical pond in the middle of it. He feels drawn to it, when he suddenly bumps into another person.

Fucking Theon Greyjoy, of course. First he looks at Jon in surprise, but then his frown turns into this arrogant smirk of his that Jon has already come to loathe.

„Lord Snow. You’re up early. Can I be of any assistance?“

Jon bristles at the patronizing tone.  
„No, thank you, my lord. I’m just trying to pass the time until my brother… resurfaces.“

Greyjoy huffs.  
„Better not hold your breath then. She takes her time.“

And with that he leaves a flustered Jon alone in the garden.

***

His demeanour doesn’t change at all during their whole stay, so when it’s over Jon is so glad he can barely thank Lady Asha for her hospitality. Robb seems glued to the yard. Jon nearly has to tear him away to get going.

„Thank you, mylady. I hope we’ll see each other again in Winterfell soon.“  
„We will, my lord. I have some business in King’s Landing, but as soon as I’m back I’ll pay a visit to your parents!“

And Lady Asha kisses Robb passionately before giving him a little smack on the butt.

„Now off you go, sweetling. It won’t be long, and when I'm back we'll have a splendid feast together."

When Robb and Jon ride through the gates, Lord Theon turns to his sister.

„You can’t mean it. Are you saying you want to marry that boy?“

„That’s exactly what I’m saying, dear brother. Don’t you like him?“

„Oh, I’m sure he’s an angel and very talented in every aspect you require, but his kin is… not like ours.“

„You mean his bastard brother? Or the pushy mother? Or is it the honourable father that scares you? I really like this one and I don’t want to let him slip away.“

„All of them, really. You know what? I’ll accompany you to King’s Landing. Maybe we can talk about it again.“

„How brotherly of you. But I assure you, my mind’s made up.“

***

On the way home, Robb can’t stop raving about Asha.

„She’s just perfect, Jon! I think I’m in love… And she said she’d visit my parents when she’s back, do you think that’s a good sign?“

„It certainly is, brother. I don’t know what else it could mean, really. You’re going to be a very happy man, I’m sure of it.“

Back at home there’s a surpise waiting for them.

It’s their relative, Lord Edmure Tully. He’s paying his cousin Catelyn and her family a visit, and Jon immediately suspects his motives are everthing but mere politeness.  
Lady Catelyn’s behaviour soon confirms his suspicions. She’s constantly all over Sansa and Arya, telling them to sit up straight, to brush their hair back, to be more ladylike.

And Edmure’s eyes are set on Arya all the time. Jon is a little surprised about that. She’s his favourite sister, but she’s not as pretty as Sansa, and she’s much less ladylike.

In the evening Lord Edmure reads them chapters from some High Septon’s book until Ned starts softly snoring against Lady Catelyn’s shoulder. Edmure stops, deeply affronted.

When the next day he asks Arya for her hand in marriage, she just about perforates him with her little sword. This proves too much for Lord Edmure, and he leaves in a huff. Nobody notices Sansa following him until they return together.

When Sansa tells them she’s now engaged to be married to Lord Edmure, Catelyn is exuberant, while Ned just sighs. Jon is shocked. In a quiet moment, he corners her.  
„Have you gone mad? Why would you marry such a dim old idiot? He’s going to bore you to death, Sansa!“

„Oh Jon! You don’t understand… I cannot spend one more day with mother buzzing around me and singing her old song of „Why aren’t you married yet, why aren’t you married yet?“ I’m sure I’ll be decently happy with Lord Edmure. He’s an honourable man. And while he’s not the most clever guy, I’m sure he’s not viscious. He’ll give me a comfortable home and I’ll be Lady of Riverrun some day!“

Arya is just glad that this dreary fate has passed her by. Jon understands her all too well.

„I’d rather marry someone poor whom I love, not some rich boring oaf just because they can provide a nice home for me. But a pauper cannot marry a bastard, they’d starve before winter, so that’d hardly be sensible. And I could never love someone who’s not sensible. I guess I’ll end up alone, the perfect person for me just doesn’t exist!“

And although he smirks at those words, and although he tries very hard not to, when he thinks about the perfect person his mind wanders to the arrogant, handsome, annoying Lord Greyjoy.


	6. A New Acquaintance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Euron Greyjoy means Trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Euron as Wickham just warms my heart ^^'  
> Sorry for shoving Sansa off to Edmure a bit prematurely but I wanted that to be done and over with.

"A raven, my dears! A raven from Lady Greyjoy!"  
Catelyn waves the scroll triumphantly.

"What's it say?"  
Robb does nothing to hide his excitement.

"We're all invited to a grand feast because of some Drowned God Festival, to Moat Cailin. I cannot wait to see it restored! Oh Robb, this is in honour of you, I'm sure of it!"  
She turns to her cousin.  
"The invitation includes you, Edmure!"

Lord Edmure seems delighted at the prospect of this and he pats Sansa's hand.  
"We can celebrate our engagement, my dear."  
She just smiles at him and lets him babble on about how he's going to dance every dance with her, and her alone, and how she'll be the most beautiful woman there.

Jon is still furious to see them together. So when they propose a walk to Wintertown, it takes Arya's and Robb's combined persuasion powers to have him join them.  
But the weather is fine for once and Jon is enjoying the walk.  
His joy diminishes greatly when they meet Lady Asha and Lord Theon, who ignores them all completely, in front of the tavern. Robb and Asha immediately lock eyes and are lost to the world, when Jon hears a shout behind them.

"Oi! Snow! Over here!"

It's one of Winterfell's men, Jory Cassel. He had been on a journey across the Narrow Sea, to "broaden his horizon" as he'd said. More like wenching in a different territory, Jon guessed. Apparently he's back now. With him is a tall man, good looking in a kind of dangerous way, smiling down at Jon. It reminds him of a predator baring his teeth, and he shudders. But he cannot deny he's feeling intrigued.  
Jory Cassel introduces him as Euron.

"I found that one in a tavern in Essos. He gave me a good fight and I promised I'd take him to Westeros - he wants to clobber the mountain!"  
 Jory snorts at that vision.

Suddenly Jon sees Euron's gaze fall on Asha, then Theon, and he gasps. He's never seen such a hateful yet leering look ever before. Involuntarily his head turns to Lord Theon and his look nearly has Jon undone. Anger, pain, so much of it that Jon feels his head spinning. Then Lord Theon gives a small courteous nod and Jon wonders if he's seeing things.

Jon's youngest brother, Rickon, is delighted that Jory is back. He instantly takes a liking to this Euron and invites him to meet Lord and Lady Stark.  
 Euron seems like a different person when talking to the eleven-year-old. Nearly kind.

Lord and Lady Stark are happy about Jory's return, and they welcome his new friend into their home.  
The next days are filled with Euron's crazy stories about his many adventures. Rickon is hanging on his every word, always eager to hear more and more.  
But every so often Euron's gaze flickers to Jon and he smiles in a way that makes Jon dizzy.

When Euron proposes a walk through the godswood - to get some fresh air - Jon follows him without a second thought.  
And when he takes his chin in his rough hands under the weirwood tree Jon doesn't withdraw.

After a seemingly endless kiss, Jon finds his voice again.

"We don't even know your last name."

"Greyjoy."

Euron flashes his teeth and Jon thinks, that's what a shark's grin must look like, even if he's never seen a shark, and even if sharks don't grin.

"You're a Greyjoy? How.. I mean, what... who..?"  
Jon can't finish a simple sentence anymore, his thoughts swirling in his head.

But Euron just pulls him in again, harder this time, and he whispers in Jon's ear.  
"I'm the black sheep of the family. The unwanted. The outcast. You know how that's like, don't you?"

And Jon knows it all too well. His hands are gliding over Euron's broad shoulders, searching to steady himself.  
The next husky sentence brings him back to his senses.

"I've seen you look at little Theon, don't deny it. He's pretty, isn't he? But let me tell you something. He's no good. Stay away from him. He turned my family against me for no reason. He's why I had to roam the seven seas, alone, all those years. He's the worst cunt that ever lived. Stay away from him."

"What did he do?"

"He spat lies about me to my brothers, about things I've allegedly done that I didn't. I won't go into detail, you needn't hear the filth he told."

And with that he finally - too early! - takes his hands off Jon and steps back.  
"I'm not invited to that feast they're hosting, but when it's over and done with - we'll meet again, lovely boy."

Jon stays in the godswood, long after Euron has left.


	7. Dance with Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon doesn't want to dance, but he does it anyway.

Jon can't stop thinking of the things Euron told him, did to him.  
He only knows that his first impression of Lord Theon Greyjoy has been correct. What a horrible person!  
Still, he has to go to the feast, he's invited, and he doesn't want to snub Robb's future relatives.

But if Lord Theon so much as looks at him...  
Jon doesn't know how to finish that sentence.

They arrive at Moat Cailin and it looks splendid in all its restored glory.

Lady Catelyn is awe-struck.  
"Look at it, Ned, children, doesn't it look just like the drawings from the old books?"

The family is greeted by Lady Asha, her uncle and of course Lord Theon.  
Jon avoids to look at him as best as he can, but curiously he feels the young Lord's eyes on him the whole time.  
Why's he staring so much??

He tries to gather his thoughts, he's here to enjoy a generous feast, by the looks of it, and he will.  
The food is delicious, dish after dish is served until Arya shoves her plate away.

"I declare I'm so full I'm gonna burst!"

After a warning glance from her mother for behaving so unladylike, and a warm smile from their hostess, she gets up.  
"My lady, will we have some music? A little dancing would be lovely now. I don't want to get fat!"

"Arya!!"  
Lady Catelyn and Sansa shout in unison. Ned only sighs and Jon can't keep from smiling, especially when Lady Asha comes to Arya's aid.  
Robb, he thinks, you've got a good one there.

"You're right, girl. We should all move a bit, or else I start snoring on the dinner table!"

She claps her hands and a group of musicians appear behind them. They arrange their instruments and start with "Fair Maids of Summer".

Asha extends her hand to Robb and they master the first dance gracefully and harmonious.  
Jon sees the happiness in Robb's face and suddenly he finds himself fervently wishing for all his brother's dreams to come true.  
Soon other couples start to join them and Jon smiles to see his father and Lady Catelyn shake a leg like they're young again.

"Are you dancing, Jon?"  
Arya, of course.

"Not today, sweetie. Run along, enjoy yourself!"  
And she does, jumping at a spooked looking young man.

"You! Dance! Now!"  
And Jon laughs when he sees the young man trotting dutifully behind Arya, already falling in her strings.

A hiss at his right side startles him. When he looks around he wants to snarl.  
Lord Greyjoy, of course, staring down at him, of course, with dark eyes, his mouth distorted into an angry frown.

Jon has had enough. He turns on his heel and storms off, Greyjoy's angry glare boring into his back now.  
Unconsciously he finds himself drawn to the quiet pond he found on his first visit here.

Jon breathes deeply. He can still hear the music, but faintly. He thinks he can recognize "The Bear and the Maiden Fair" now.  
Then the tune changes, the song they're now playing sounds... sad. So sad, Jon's eyes involuntarily fill with tears.

He'd lied to Arya earlier. Of course he wants to dance. But the one he wants to dance with is not here.

"It's called "The Mermaid's Lament"."  
The calm voice behind him snatches Jon out of his thoughts.

"Lord Greyjoy."  
Jon knows his voice sounds cold and unfriendly, but he can't help that now.  
He wants the man to go away and leave him alone.

But Lord Theon makes no move to do so. The song is still playing and he seems to listen intently.  
"It's about a mermaid who loves a man, a man from the dry lands. And she can't be with him without taking him to a watery grave. Can you hear her sadness?"

And he turns to face Jon and yes, Jon can hear the sadness, he can also see it in Lord Theon's eyes, and he doesn't know how to react to that.  
The young lord takes the choice from him.

"Do you want to dance with me?"  
And Jon finds that he can't say no to the man he thinks he loathes.

So they dance, in the garden, near the pond, under a clear, starry sky. Lord Theon's hand lies softly on Jon's back, the other on his shoulder.  
After some hesitation he bows his head toward Jon's neck, breathing into his dark curls, whispering the words of the song into his ear.

They remain like this, long after the song has finished. Jon doesn't dare to move.  
Then Lord Theon speaks again, very softly.  
"Don't trust Euron."

Jon starts back as if he's been burned. Maybe he has been.  
He glares at the man in front of him, eyes sparkling in anger.

Theon Greyjoy simply turns around and leaves Jon behind with his anger, his frustration, and the memory of his arms around him slowly fading away.


	8. Family, Duty, Honour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asha leaves again, Robb is miserable, Jon is on cloud nine until he isn't anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm horrible at geography, even made-up geography, even made-up-by-me geography -.-

After Jon has had enough time to compose himself again, he reluctantly goes back inside.  
He spots Sansa sitting on a bench in an alcove and joins her.

"Why are you sitting here? I thought your betrothed promised to dance with you all night?"  
"Oh please, don't even mention that! I'm glad he's occupied elsewhere at the moment, I need a rest. He's trampled on my feet so much they're going to be green and blue tomorrow."

Jon chuckles sympathetically.  
"And what has him forgetting his beloved bride? Where is he?"  
"He's stalking up to Lord Theon, see, right there. He's mightily impressed with his father, I think he's living near Edmure somewhere and he wants to pay his respects to the son."

"Oh well, good luck, Lord Edmure", Jon mumbles under his breath.  
Sansa looks at him curiously.

"Where have you been all the time? One moment you were there, the next you were gone, Lord Theon was gone as well and then he shows up again, in the foulest mood imaginable, and now you're back, also not entirely happy if I may say so. Has something happened?"

But Jon only shakes his head and she doesn't press the matter.

On the way to his chamber, the same as last time, he passes a couple in a dark corner, completely oblivious to their surroundings, and he only pauses when he recognizes Robb's voice.  
"My lady, can't we go to your chamber? I... I don't think it's very comely, don't you?"

But Lady Asha only laughs and draws him onto her lips, Robb's weak protests smothered by a passionate kiss.  
When she comes up for air again she soothes him.

"Not long now, my love. One final trip to the big city and I'm all yours. Then it's official and we can do whatever we like, no regards to honour or comeliness anymore. Won't you just love that?"  
"Yes, my lady, of course! I cannot wait for the day when we declare our bond in front of the gods for all to hear. I love you!"  
"And I love you!"

Jon continues on his way, smiling. At least Robb seems to be happy tonight.

***

Lady Asha is gone and Robb is pining for her, counting the days until he sees her again.  
Jon tries his best to comfort him, but his attentiveness suffers a great deal.

Euron Greyjoy is now a daily visitor in Winterfell.  
He japes with Jory, fascinates them all with his stories and takes long walks with Jon in the godswood, the glass gardens, the castle grounds.

Jon is spellbound. This is the most seasoned and experienced man he's ever encountered and he feels his heart beat faster everytime he's near him.

Then suddenly a dark cloud seems to envelope Winterfell.

First Sansa's departure. She's wed to Lord Edmure now and goes with him to live in a small castle near the coast. She looks forward to her new home, but even more to the day when she'll be Lady of Riverrun.  
Jon and Sansa have never been particularly close, but their farewell is tearful. He promises to visit her soon together with Arya.

Then there's some news that shake Jon to the core. He's not showing it but it nearly kills him.  
Euron Greyjoy is to wed Jory's cousin Beth.

Of course Jon is aware of their situation. There is no future for the two of them, there can never be, but it's a shock nonetheless.  
But Jon smiles, congratulates them, and when Euron asks him to go for a walk, he accepts.

"Are you mad with me?"  
"No. I understand your motives."  
"You have to believe me, if only-"  
"Yes, if only. If only you weren't exiled by your brother, hated by your family... if only I were a girl, a trueborn girl that is."

And he smiles at Euron sadly.  
"But I wish you good fortune, I really do. We'll survive, I'm sure of it."

They share no last kiss.

***

All bad things come threefold.

Sansa's gone, Euron's engaged to be married, and now a raven from King's Landing.  
It's from Kyra, for Robb.

"Dear Lord Robb, I hope you are well. I'm writing this to you as a friend, and I hope you bear me no ill wishes for what I have to tell you. My Lady Asha has taken residence in King's Landing, and she doesn't seem likely to leave anytime soon. It pains me greatly, but I have to be honest with you. She's taken a liking to a certain young man. They're seen together all the time. Lord Theon tells me he's her new companion. Please forgive these horrible news. I hope you will find some happiness of your own very soon. Yours faithfully, Kyra"

Robb is heartbroken. He smiles for the world, not showing his desperation, but every night he comes into Jon's room, crying his heart out while all Jon can do is stroking his hair and be there for him.  
"If only mother would stop! She's wailing like one of the Others all the fucking time and it's not very helpful!"

And Lady Catelyn really is unconsolable. She was so sure of this, she feels entirely betrayed and picks Lady Asha to pieces on every opportunity.  
Jon tries to talk to her.

"Lady Catelyn, I know it's hard for you. But it's even harder for Robb and if only you could stop mentioning her-"  
"Mentioning her! I hope she does never show her face in this part of the country ever again. Used my poor boy, broke our trust, to the seventh hell with her!"

But she tries to tone it down, for Robb.

***

Finally the day of their departure comes. Jon and Arya are off to visit Sansa, and Ned sends Robb to the King's household in the capital.  
"Robert is my eldest friend. He's got two sons and a daughter, maybe they and the court life can take his mind off this bloody business."

And maybe he'll see Asha in King's Landing and hears it from herself, gets some closure, Jon thinks.

So Robb goes south, Jon and Arya go southwest.  
After a long and strenuous journey they arrive at the small castle. It's not very far from the sea, situated on a headland, and Jon feels himself drawn to it.

When the warm reception by Sansa and her husband is behind them, she shows them to their rooms.  
Jon goes to look out of the window. Sansa stands beside him.

"See that shape over there? In the mists? That's the first of the Iron Islands from here. This is were Balon Greyjoy lives now that he's retired as Lord of Pyke."  
"Did you see him?"  
"Oh yes." Sansa rolls her eyes. "Edmure goes over there every fortnight or so, sucking up to the big luminary. I think he's a vicious, unpleasant old man, and the stories about how he treated his children are disgusting!!"

Jon's thoughts wander to Theon Greyjoy. Is that why he's always so dour? Still, it's not an excuse for driving his uncle away from the family.

The next morning Jon and Arya sneak out before breakfast to explore the cliffs beyond the castle walls.

They enjoy the fresh salty air, and Jon thinks he could get used to this, the wind, the waves, the screeching of seagulls...  
Arya's voice yanks him out of his reverie.

"Don't we know that one?"  
She points to the left where a lonesome figure is standing right at the edge of the cliff.

Jon swallows, rage rising in his throat. Rage and something else.  
Theon Greyjoy.


	9. Insights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A troublesome visit and Jon witnesses something he shouldn't have

When Jon stares at the tall figure of Theon Greyjoy, for some reason he seems to hear music in his head.  
It's the song from the feast that is inseparable from the man before him now.  
Jon thinks of the sadness in his eyes back then and swallows.

"Let's go before he sees us," he murmurs to Arya, but she just shrugs.  
"Too late, he's coming over. Now we have to say hello."

Jon looks down, he doesn't want his eyes to betray his feelings to the loathsome Greyjoy, but he feels his glare, hot as fire.  
"Lady Arya. Jon Snow. What brings you to the edge of the world?"

Arya, completely unaware of the tension around her, happily informs him of everything.  
"And tomorrow we're to meet the infamous Balon Greyjoy. He's your father, right? Is he really such a creepy toad?"

Jon nearly faints, but looks up for the first time.  
"Arya! You're talking about the lord's father!"

But Lord Theon doesn't seem outraged at all, more slightly amused.  
"You'll see. Until then, my lady, Jon Snow."

Jon scolds Arya all the way back to the house.  
"Have you lost your mind, sister? You can't talk to a lord like that!"  
Even if he is an outrageous prick, he adds to himself.

When Sansa hears of their encounter she smirks, but Lord Edmure boils with indignation.  
"Please tell me you will not behave like this tomorrow! Shouldn't we leave her here, my love?"  
Arya is quick to apologize.  
"I will be totally ladylike, I swear! I so want to go, please take me! I won't say anything at all!"

She's not left behind when they leave early the next day.  
The weather is nice and the sea is calm, so their crossing doesn't take long.

They are greeted by a servant and brought to the hall where an elderly man sits by the fire.  
Balon barely nods at them when Jon and Arya are introduced, clearly not that interested.

They sit and Edmure and Balon talk about boring topics until Jon is sure he'll fall asleep any second now.  
He's prevented from such an embarrassment by Theon Greyjoy's appearance.

Balon beckons him over immediately.  
"I trust you know our guests?"  
Lord Theon nods quietly, Balon scrutinizing his every expression.

"Lord Edmure, Lady Sansa, Lady Arya, Jon Snow. It's good to see you again."  
Balon's eyebrow twitches and he smiles. It's not a nice smile, more a triumphating grimace, and Jon wonders what's going on.

After that, Balon suddenly shows a great interest in Jon.  
"Snow, eh? Honourable Ned's bastard. Well, well. Has your father arranged a marriage for you yet, boy?"  
Jon is wary of this sudden inquisition, but he tries to stay polite and answers every question.

After a while Balon Greyjoy seems to get bored of their company and gets up painfully.  
"Son, help me to bed. Our guests can wait for their boat in the hall. Until the next time, Edmure!"

They all say their farewells and Jon waits before they are gone to leave for the privvy.  
But he gets lost, and when he hears Balon's voice his curiosity gets the better of him.

"You worthless piece of shit, did you think I wouldn't notice?"  
A loud smack follows, and a stiffled wail.

"Have you been fluttering your eyelashes at the bastard all along? Or is it already too late, have you stuck your bloody cock inside him? Answer me!!"  
A strangled voice, Theon's voice.

"Father, you misunderstand, I never-"  
Another smack, louder than before.

"Don't lie to me, you disgusting faggot! I know your starry-eyed maiden look when you see a pretty boy like that! Shall I write to Ned Stark and tell him of my son's buggery? That he's taken his precious bastard for his deviant purposes?"  
One loud smack after the other, no answer from Theon.

"Get out of my sight!!!!"

Jon quickly backs away in panic. What has he just witnessed?


	10. Without a heavy heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> News, a proposal and a letter

Jon keeps quiet on the way home.  
When Sansa proposes an outing the next day, he claims a headache and stays home.  
A letter from Robb has been brought to him yesterday and he's eager to read it in peace.

"Jon! I hope you and Arya are fine and Sansa takes to her new life well. I have some news, bad and good. Bad ones first: I saw Asha with that man. He seems to be a smith or something like this, he has arms as thick as weirwood trees. Over and done with. Of course she heard I'm in town and she tried to visit I think three times but I didn't receive her of course. But I've met with Kyra, and here's something interesting! As it seems it was her brother that talked her out of marrying me and found her the new guy! Seems your judgement about him was spot on! What an ass... But I promised you good news, so here they are: Euron isn't to marry Beth Cassel after all it seems. I don't know what happened but father writes that he's moping around Winterfell, always on the watch for a certain young man to return!! I love you, brother, keep safe, don't fall into the sea and don't do anything stupid! Robb"

Jon smiles at Robb's smeared handwriting. The news are interesting alright!  
He's interrupted when a servant announces Lord Theon Greyjoy.  
What can he want here?

But Jon, polite as ever, stands up to receive this unexpected guest.  
"My lord. I fear you find me alone. Lord Edmure and the others are away for the day."

Lord Theon doesn't seem perturbed. He just paces around the room, stopping every now and then, staring at Jon, then continuing.  
Jon is confused. He sits down and watches the young lord on his rounds.  
Finally he seems to come to a decision. He takes a step towards Jon, then hesitates again.

"I have fought myself for months now, I cannot do this any longer. I have to confess. I think I'm in love with you."  
His voice is calm but his eyes are burning into Jon's.

Jon is speechless. The young lord interprets it as consent and goes on.  
"Since the first night we met I feel myself drawn to you every single second I'm in your company. Please relieve my pain, come with me to Pyke! And stay there with me, forever."

When Jon finds his voice again, he says the first thing that comes to his mind.  
"But... but your father... he said-"

The lord's eyes darken visibly.  
"Are you afraid of my father? He's my business entirely I can assure you, there's nothing to fear. He never leaves his home anymore. And I'll keep you safe, please..."  
He kneels in front on Jon, he takes his shaking hands into his own and his voice sounds agitated now.

"I want you. I love you. You're the most perfect person I've ever encountered. Please say you'll be mine."

Jon snatches his hands away, remembering his brother's letter.

  
"How could I ever love the man who took my brother's happiness away from him? How dare you propose such things when you always showed nothing but contempt for me? And your own uncle! You drove him away, you lied to your family to make him look bad! Do you deny it??"

Lord Theon looks like he's been slapped. He quickly stands up.  
"So this is what you think of me? A liar? An evil person?"

Jon isn't finished.

"And now you come here, allow yourself to speak of love when you never even smiled at me once? Even if I would feel something for you, the manner of your performance spares me a heavy heart when I refuse you!

Theon makes a visible effort to calm himself.  
"I'm sorry to have affronted you so much. You will never see me again."

He leaves.  
Jon is panting hard, near tears and completely overwhelmed by the events of the last half hour.

When his sisters come looking for him upon their return, he refers to his headache and they leave him alone.  
But early the next morning he sneaks out to the cliffs, his need to be alone greater than ever before.  
When he returns the breakfast is already over and there's a letter waiting for him in his room.

Arya comes in after him.  
"He's brought it right after you left. As if he's waited right around the corner for you to leave."

She looks at him with a worried expression.  
"Jon, what's happened? You are white as a sheet and you're not talking to any of us... Can I help you?"  
But Jon can only shake his head, the letter clutched tightly in his trembling fingers.

Arya sighs.  
"I'll leave you to it. If there's anything I can do... just ask."  
And she's gone.

Slowly Jon opens the letter.

"Please don't fear this letter will contain another unwelcome proposal. I just cannot leave things as they are now.  
First, you are right about your brother. I did everything I could to separate my sister from him for as long as possible. This is no slight against your brother, or you, I just thought that our families won't assort well with one another. And after some observations I was certain that my sister was too overwhelming for your brother. He seems a fine young man, but not suited for Asha's fiery spirit. But I bow to your better knowledge of your brother, and if I caused him any real hurt, I apologize.  
The second item you brought up against me was my family affairs. I don't know what my estranged uncle told you, but here's the truth. When I was fourteen years old, he abducted me from my father to press him into handing Pyke over to him. My father was indifferent, though. He still had Asha. So I was at my uncle's mercy for two full years. I won't go into details what happened during this period. All you need to know is that I survived. When he eventually grew bored of me, he left me to die on the shores of Pyke. I survived again. While I recovered from my misfortunes, Euron seduced and impregnated his brother's wife. She was beaten to death by her husband, my uncle Victarion. When Euron heard of it he just laughed. My father exiled him and we haven't seen him since your man Cassel brought him back to Westeros.  
This, Jon Snow, is the full truth of my family's dealings with Euron Greyjoy. For the validity of this report you can turn to Aeron. He's still at Moat Cailin and if you send a raven you should get a satisfying answer soon.  
You also said I have been contemptuously toward you. I cannot disagree with you on that matter because I have no idea how my face looked when I saw yours. Maybe my inner conflict was betrayed on it.  
But please accept my feelings as they are, even if you cannot reciprocate. I have never felt for anyone what I feel for you. I wish you good fortune, Jon Snow. And I hope you may someday think a little better of me.  
Always yours, Theon"

The letter slips from Jon's fingers. He buries his face in them and weeps, weeps until he feels empty like never before.


	11. Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon meets Euron again. Things don't go as planned.

They meet with Robb on their journey home. The inn they're staying at is noisy, but Jon is thankful for that. They can't really talk about anything of importance.  
Robb seems better than the last time Jon saw him. He has some colour to his cheeks and his eyes don't look so sad anymore. Maybe he's made his peace with it.

But when the two of them are alone in Winterfell the next night, Robb shakes his head.  
"Of course I have to go on, don't I? It's not the end of the world. But I can say this with absolute clarity: There'll never be another woman. No one is like her, no one matches her."

It pains Jon to hear his brother say that, but who is he to argue? He still hasn't told Robb everything that's happened, but he must. He starts with Euron.  
Robb is visibly shaken.  
"And you know for sure it's true?"  
"Aye. Lord Theon wouldn't refer me to his uncle as a reliable source if it wasn't. And... I think no one could make such awful things up just for the fun of it."

Robb takes Jon by the shoulders and looks at him intently.  
"Tell me the truth, Jon. Do you like him?"  
And for a moment Jon has no idea who he's speaking of.

***

Jon's dreading meeting Euron again, but he knows it's inevitable.  
As early as the morning after their return to Winterfell he already calls on the family.  
He's barely civil to Lord and Lady Stark, he even brushes aside Rickon's request for another story, he just glares at Jon with hungry eyes.

Jon is anxious to get it over with, so when Euron leaves after a lot of meaningful glances, he doesn't hesitate to follow him.  
They silently walk to the godswood. As soon as they come to the weirwood tree, Euron presses Jon against the trunk.

Before Jon can even utter a word, every protest is drowned in Euron's lips, like a starving man's, and Jon doesn't fight back.  
He wants to make this as easy as possible.

Euron's lips leave Jon's only when he absolutely needs to breathe. They don't go far, whispering in his ear.  
"Have you missed me, my boy?"

And, seven hells, Jon has missed him. But that's not what he wants to say.  
He softly pushes Euron away. The man raises an eyebrow but doesn't object. Yet.

Jon swallows. This is going to be unpleasant.  
"I had a talk with your nephew. We met on my trip. At his father's home."

Euron's eyes go dark and he snarls.  
"And what lies has little Theon told you? Did he poison your heart against me as he did my family's?"

Jon is afraid all of a sudden. This man is dangerous.  
"He told me about your brother's wife. And his... his abduction."

Euron throws back his head and howls with laughter. Jon's fear increases. He sounds like a madman.  
"And you believed him straightaway, didn't you? Well, good for you. But too late, I fear!"

His hand that was toying with Jon's curls just a second ago now slowly closes around his throat.  
Jon's eyes widen and he tries to break free, but the older man's grip is like iron.  
"You're mine, boy, and you know it. You want it. Don't lie to me. I can feel how much you want it. No one turns their back on me."

Tears begin to sting in Jon's eyes when Euron rubs his hand against the front of Jon's breeches, indeed proving his point.  
He's never feared someone so much. He's never wanted something so much. There's no use in denying anything.

So he just closes his eyes when Euron pulls him to the ground, tearing at his clothes like a crazed man.

He sighs his name when the strong hands sweep roughly all over his body.  
He moans his name when they reach his cock.  
He hisses his name when they travel to his rear.  
He screams his name when he feels another cock entering him.

Afterwards he lies in Euron's arms. It feels restraining rather than comforting, and Jon cries with shame.  
His father had raised him to be honourable, but a few words and strokes are enough to make him a wanton slut.

"No one turns their back on me. Remember, sweet boy."  
Euron is gone.

In his stead is the ghost of another. _Don't trust Euron_.

Jon curls up, makes himself as small as he can. He can't shake the thought from his head.  
Please, please, don't let it happen again!!!


	12. So it starts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon hides. Euron fumes. Ned is clueless. Benjen has an idea.

It's Robb who finds him and Jon is thankful for it.  
He doesn't speak, only helps him to his room.

"You have to tell father."  
"I can't. He hasn't... he didn't... Robb, I wanted it!!"  
"Not like that. Not this."

Euron comes everyday. Jon stays in his room. He only leaves it when it's absolutely necessary, and Robb's always with him.  
Lord Stark figures something is wrong, but he doesn't want to force Jon to confide in him. He hopes his son will do so in his own time.

But Jon just can't. He doesn't want to see the disappointment in his father's eyes when he learns of his wanton behaviour.  
Besides, Lord Theon hasn't authorised him to spread the story. And Jon doesn't want to betray his trust.

It's only when he hears the news he knows he has to talk to Ned.  
Apparently Euron is getting more restless and aggressive each day. Jory's asked Lord Stark for his permission to travel to King's Landing with him, distract him from whatever is gnawing away at him.  
And they want to take Rickon with them.

Jon goes to his father's solar.  
"Father. Please, please don't let them take Rickon. I... I fear for his safety."  
"What, with Jory? I would trust him with my childrens' life any day."  
"It's Euron I'm concerned about, not Jory."

Ned leans back and looks at his son inquiringly.  
"I had the feeling you liked Euron? Has something happened?"

But Jon just can't.  
"Please, father, just trust me in this. Euron is no man you want around your son."

Ned raises an eyebrow.  
"Just Rickon, or any son? You seemed... close."

Jon shuts his eyes. How can he explain this to his father?"  
"We were. But... please, don't let them take Rickon!!"

"Jon, it's too late. Cat has already given her consent and I think it's going to be a nice adventure for Rickon. He's grown pretty wild and some new experiences may moderate his behaviour. Come, let's hear no more of it. Don't worry, everything will be just fine."

And with that Jon is dismissed.

***

He doesn't see them off.  
Robb is starting to worry about him a lot. Jon doesn't eat much, he doesn't sleep well. He doesn't go outside much, even now that Euron is gone from his orbit.

When a letter arrives from Ned's brother Benjen, inviting Jon on a journey with him, Robb has great difficulty talking Jon into accepting.  
But he does eventually, and when Benjen finally arrives Jon has even started to look forward to their trip.

Benjen hugs him jovially.  
"Jon! Ready to travel the coast? Get some fresh sea air in our lungs, maybe some colour in your cheeks. You look pale."  
"It's good to see you uncle! Where will we go?"  
"Westbound first, then down south along the coast, maybe as far as the Iron Islands. Would you like that? We could have a look at the infamous Pyke if you want."

Jon's heart skips a beat. Pyke! Of course he wants to see it - only not ist lord.  
But he doesn't object.

***

It's their second month of travel, and the seaside agrees with Jon. He's fallen in love with the sea already when he visited Sansa. He feels he could spend his whole life near the sea.  
His thoughts go back and he nearly smiles. He could already live on an island by now, if he'd wanted it.

When the Iron Islands draw near, Jon feels his excitement and his agitation growing.  
He speaks to his uncle of his concerns.

"Do you really want to visit Pyke? I'd feel stupid to pry around there when someone's home."  
But Benjen calms his fears.  
"From what I've heard Lord Greyjoy is still in King's Landing with his sister. Nobody's there but the servants and I'm sure they're happy to show us around for some extra coin."

Jon reconsiders. With the danger of running into Lord Theon out of the way he can't deny he's curious about the place that could've been his home by now.

***

Indeed the maester of Pyke has no problem with the unexpected visitors. He shows them the castles, the bridges between them and the main hall.  
Jon is mesmerized by the huge kraken sculpture above the fireplace. The sea can be seen from every window in this place and a part of him wishes he could stay.

While the maester talks to Benjen about something boring, Jon slips out, to the beach. It's not soft and sandy like so many he's encountered on his journey so far, it's full of rocks and seaweed and driftwood.  
But Jon actually prefers this kind of beach. It's more wild, more beautiful to him.

He sits on a large rock, the wet sand crunching beneath his feet. He takes off his shoes, he wants to feel it. It's perfect, not warm, but not cold either, and he digs his toes in and laughs about how good it feels.  
Jon strips down to his breeches before he's satisfied. Now he can feel the breeze against his skin, the salt from the waves that collapse not far from him. He wants to feel the sea.  
So he takes a step, another, until his feet touch the water. It's cold, and Jon takes a sharp breath, but nothing has ever felt so good to him.


	13. Drowning in you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon and Theon meet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wet-Shirt-Scene!  
> I know it's not originally Austen but I'm absolutely certain, she'd written it herself if she'd known Colin Firth. Or Theon Greyjoy, that is.

Jon nearly jumps out of his skin when suddenly a head breaks the surface not far from him, halfway behind a large rock sitting in the water.  
The man hasn't noticed him yet, and Jon backs away, collecting his clothes, trying to hide behind another rock.

Jon has recognized him right away and curses under his breath, his heart beating like a drum.  
What's he doing here? He's supposed to be hundreds of miles away for fuck's sake!

Lord Theon still hasn't noticed Jon, he seems to be caught in his own world.  
Slowly he swims ashore and starts to walk out of the waves.

Jon cannot take his eyes off of him. He's wearing a white shirt, completely soaked and clinging to his chest.  
The wet cloth traces every muscle, every shape, every hollow.  
He hasn't tired of the sight yet when Greyjoy strips it off. Jon's breath hitches in his throat.  
Theon's whole upper body is a map of dozens of scars.

He's making his way up the beach  when he suddenly stops.  
Jon's heart sinks. He's forgotten his shoes.

Lord Theon raises his head and lets his gaze wander. Seeing no use in hiding anymore, Jon steps away from the rock and clears his throat.  
His eyes are burning with embarrassment and he just wishes the waves would swallow him the next second.

Lord Theon seems speechless. It takes a long agonizing while for him to find his voice again.  
"Jon Snow. How...? What...?"

Jon hastes to explain his unexpected presence.  
"My lord, I apologize! I'm traveling with my uncle and he wanted to see Pyke and they said you're in King's Landing! I would've never presumed to visit if I'd known you're here."

Theon only seems to listen with half a mind.  
"Please, no need for fretting. You and your uncle are very welcome. I didn't know I'd be here, to be honest. A spur of the moment. I needed the Iron sea."

Jon's cheeks are still hot and he doesn't trust himself to look up at the man opposite him.  
So when soft fingers lift his chin he's taken completely by surprise. He looks up into eyes the same colour as the waves behind them, and for a moment he is lost.

"Don't be so abashed, Jon Snow. You did nothing blamable. It's... it's a joy to see you here. Do you like it? Pyke?"  
His fingers are still holding Jon's chin so he has to speak to answer.

"Yes. It's surrounded by the sea. I... I think it's a wonderful place to live."

Jon's lips feel dry and he licks them. When he looks up again, a storm has risen in the eyes of his captor and he knows what will happen next.  
And every inch of his body is yearning for it.

Soft lips touch his mouth, they're so different from the last ones to do so, and Jon finds himself unable to move. It's a very short, very sweet kiss.  
Jon's knees are weak and he still tries to find his strength again, when all of a sudden the fingers are gone, the lips are gone.  
He looks questioningly at Lord Theon, who's backed away two paces, his eyes widened in horror.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I swear, I won't touch you against your will!"  
His voice sounds horrified and desperate.

"...against my will?"  
Jon is bewildered and follows the young man who's still slowly walking backwards.  
Finally he stops and Jon closes the distance between them in a heartbeat.

Tentatively he raises his hands and runs them across the naked chest of the man in front of him.  
His fingers trace every scar, every burn mark, every inch.  
A ragged breath escapes Lord Theon's mouth and when Jon looks up his eyes are closed.

Jon softly runs his fingers over the anxious face.  
The wrinkled forehead, the knitted brows, the closed eyes, the hollow cheeks, the wide mouth-  
Here they stop. Jon remembers the few times he's seen that mouth smiling. He wants to see it again.

Lord Theon is a little taller than Jon, so he raises himself on tiptoes and presses his mouth on Lord Theon's.  
The stormy eyes snap open and Theon looks at Jon doubtfully.  
But Jon deepens the kiss, and he can feel all the doubts eradicating beneath his lips and tongue.

Slowly, incredulous, Lord Theon brings his hands to Jon's face. He gasps in realisation and with a strangled laugh pulls Jon into his arms.


	14. Suffer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benjen explains some things to Jon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, guilty, I squished Euron and Ramsay together and hurray we have a new abominable creature. Bah.  
> Well - I can't write Ramsay, he makes me sick to my stomach so Euron will have to do.

Jon is lying in Theon’s arms on the wet sand. He feels like they’ve been there for days, kissing and touching each other, yet it can’t have been longer than half an hour.  
A part of his mind wonders if Benjen is still talking to the maester, or if he’s already worrying about Jon. He closes his eyes.  
The Others take Benjen, right now he wants to stay exactly where he is. Probably forever.

Theon starts humming, a familiar tune, and Jon feels more at peace than ever since the dreadful day after his return to Winterfell.  
He slightly shifts to look at Theon and sees him smile down on him.

„Tell me again about the mermaid. Did she ever see her love again?“

Theon’s eyes darken.

„No. She stopped singing to him. If she hadn’t, he would have followed her voice beneath the waves. He would’ve drowned. She knew that, and he was too precious to her to take his life, so she stopped singing.“

The words are out before Jon can stop them.  
„I would follow this song to my grave.“

Theon sits up apruptly. His smile is gone, his eyes harden.  
„No. You will never be dragged down into the darkness. You mustn’t listen. You must stay away. The sea will swallow you if you don’t stay away.“

Jon smiles sadly.  
„Don’t you think it’s too late for that? I drowned already. I can never leave the sea again.“

But Theon shakes his head.  
„You will.“

***

Jon is confused. Hurt. They were so close just minutes ago. Now it’s as if he’s standing in front of a stranger.

„Farewell, Jon Snow. I wish you good fortune in every aspect of your life.“

The horses trot on, and when Jon turns his head Theon is gone already.

He’s quiet and Benjen, although shooting him worried glances every minute or so, doesn’t disturb his thoughts.  
Only when they reach their accomodation for the night he finally speaks.

„Theon Greyjoy, hm? Didn’t Ned tell me you’re his uncle’s paramour?“

Jon nearly chokes.  
„You knew that?? Why didn’t you say a word?“

„None of my business, boy. But, seeing as we’re already speaking, I have to tell you something. The whole bunch of them are like mad dogs. Aeron for example. He visited Winterfell once as a boy with his father and he seemed pretty normal back then, but suddenly he went all religious and holier-than-thou, and it was all just drowning this and ironborn that.“

Jon bites his lip. He wants to ask but it’s hard to find the words. Benjen understands anyway.

„Euron? I have to say I was worried when your father told me of your relations. Some say he’s the most dangerous of them all. And now Balon’s sick and old this might very well be true.“  
He looks at Jon intently.

„Did he hurt you?“

„No, nothing like that.“ Jon’s voice drops to a whisper. „He frightens me. And now he’s on the road with Rickon and Jory and I don’t know, uncle, but I’m just so… He frightens me.“

Benjen nods.  
„After what he did to his own nephew I can understand your fears. I wish I’d talked to Ned before he’s given his consent to this.“

„You know about what he did?“

„Aye, I know. One of my brothers at the Wall was Euron’s thrall before he escaped. He’s witnessed it firsthand.“

Jon opens his mouth but again Benjen beats him to it.

„Horrible things. You sure you want to hear it? At your own risk. Well, from the position I saw you in I gather you’re aquainted with most of his scars already.“

Benjen raises an eyebrow and Jon blushes. The thought had never even crossed his mind that they could have been visible from the castle. Benjen winks at him.

„Ah, don’t worry. I didn’t see anything at all, really. Where was I? Ah, yes. The scars you don’t see are the worse ones. The terror he’s put that boy through - I don’t want to imagine it. He not only tortured his body, but his mind. He broke his soul. He made him forget his own name. He used him in every way possible. It’s a miracle he’s alive and reasonably sane.“

Jon listens in horror. But Benjen’s not finished yet.

„And the worst is yet to come. When he was discovered on the shore, more dead than alive, his father didn’t want him anymore. Spoiled, he said. Good for nothing. Asha defied her father and nursed her brother back to health. And when the time came Balon had no choice but to make him lord after him. I hear he still beats the shit out of him whenever he’s stupid enough to go near his father, though."

Jon nods, remembering.  
„True. I’ve heard it myself. He’s not even defended himself.“

„Trained out of it I guess.“

When he goes to bed that evening Jon understands. It‘s absurd, but he understands.  
The darkness has never left him. Jon doesn’t care. He fucking doesn’t care. He always thought he knew how it felt to want someone so badly it hurts, he kind of did, but this now is something else altoghether.  
What he’d seen in those eyes... It makes him want to cry.


	15. A Nightmare come true

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon's fears are confirmed. Theon acts all strange.

The raven arrives in the night.

"Jon, you have to come home. Jory's been found near the Kingsroad. He's been badly beaten and there's no trace of Euron, nor Rickon. They were seen traveling to the capital. Mother's beside herself and Father has gone to King's Landing to search for them. We need you and Uncle Benjen to come as quickly as you can!! Robb"

Jon jumps to his feet, his heart beating, his mind racing. He knew it! Where is Benjen? He needs to find him now! Every second counts!

He stumbles downstairs, he nearly screams at the innkeep.  
"Where's my uncle?"

The poor man stutters, he backs away from Jon.  
"I don't know m'lord, but he said he'll be back soon. Pardon, m'lord, there's someone out there waiting for you."  
He bows and makes himself scarce.

For a moment Jon nearly faints with fear. Euron? No, can't be. They must've made it further south by now.  
He steps outside and what he sees makes him nearly think he's dreaming all of this.

The man standing under the tree turns around and in a heartbeat he is at Jon's side.  
"What's wrong? What's happened? You look beside yourself!"

Theon shouts to the open door.  
"You there! Some wine!"  
Then he turns his attention back to Jon.

He draws his thumbs over Jon's cheeks and only now Jon realises he's been crying.  
"What are you doing here?"

Theon's eyes are sad, and full of longing.  
"I couldn't let you walk away. Not like this!"  
And his arms wrap around Jon, his lips press against him so urgently it knocks the air out of his lungs. He's drowning, again, but there's something that has him resurface.

"Your uncle... my brother..."  
He chokes on his sobs. Theon grabs his shoulders, shakes him.  
"What? What happened??"

Jon tells him and Theon listens, his eyes growing darker every second. He gets up, his hands dropping from Jon's shoulders.  
"I have to go. I'm... I'm sorry. If he hurts the boy... I'm sorry."

Benjen finds Jon still outside. When he hears the news he wastes no time. In less than half an hour they're on their way back to Winterfell.

***

Robb meets them in the yard. He's looking grave and Jon's heart sinks.  
"News. We found a letter in one of Jory's pockets. It's for you."

Jon takes the parchment into his shaking hands and unfolds it.

"Hello, my boy. You know I have your brother, and you know what I want instead. Come and give it to me or I'll send him home. Piece after piece. I'm waiting for you at Moat Cailin. I told you, my boy. No one turns their back on me."

Benjen reads over his shoulder. He quickly gathers his things.  
"I need to send a raven. To... to the Night's Watch. I'm staying till this is solved."

"Moat Cailin? I thought they were seen heading south?"  
Robb's lips are a tight line.  
"A ruse. A trick to lure father away."

***

"You can't mean it! He'll kill you!"  
Robb has been screaming at Jon for half an hour now.

"No he won't. He.. he wants me. He won't kill me."  
"Do you really want to be at the mercy of this... monster?!?"

Jon's laugh is bitter.

"No, I'd rather not. But I'll gladly take Rickon's place, believe me."  
"No!! I won't allow it! There must be a better way!"

Jon scoffs.  
"You don't have to allow it, Robb. I'm going. Now. He's not the most patient man."  
"Jon, please, you can't!"

Robb is on the floor now, crying. Jon bends down and kisses the top of his head.

"I love you, brother. Never forget that."  
And he leaves, alone.


	16. The Mercy of the Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon turns himself in to Euron.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dark, darker, Euron.

Jon makes it to Moat Cailin in record time.  
Nothing stirs when he walks through the castle gates.  
He barely has time to ask himself where all the people are, when his arms are pulled together behind his back. He doesn't struggle, not even when they're bound together.

Hot breath makes the hairs on his neck stand.  
"I knew it, I knew you'd come straight away. That's my boy."  
A wet tongue licks over the shell of Jon's ear and he shudders.

"I'm here. You have me. Where's Rickon?"  
Sharp teeth sink into his neck and Jon yelps involuntarily.

"Don't worry, he's safe. I'll let him go on the morrow. But first... we have a lot to catch up on, don't you think?"  
"At least let me see him."  
"You wound me. There's no reason to mistrust me. I would never lie... to you. But as you wish."

Soon Jon is shoved into a chamber. Rickon's familiar little face peeks out behind some heavy furs. He's sleeping peacefully and Jon could sob with relief and gratitude.

Euron scoffs.  
"You really thought I'd hurt him? He's not my nephew. This one has spirit. I like him. I'll even miss him when he's gone but a promise I made my boy must be kept."  
He hasn't looked at Jon directly yet. He drags him out of the room, up the stairs and into another chamber.

There Euron unties him, turns him around and his hands together on the front now.

"Aah, my beautiful boy, how I've missed you. And now you're mine, finally, for always. When I let your brother go I will take you with me on my ship. But this night we'll enjoy here, together. And you will be a good boy, won't you? If not - I gather you've heard everything by now from your uncle. Dumb cunt always knew too much. So, behave and no harm shall be done to you."

"I'll do what you want, I swear it. But can you cut me loose? These ropes are hurting me."  
"Not yet, my boy. I must be sure that I can trust you, mustn't I? We'll see.. in a while."

Euron pushes Jon back on the bed, surprisingly soft. When he draws a knife, Jon can't help but whimper.  
"Shshsh, stupid boy, this is just for your clothes... as long as you behave."

When Jon is naked and shivering in the cold, Euron kneels to look at him.  
"Aah, you're so beautiful. You're perfect. You're mine. Oh, the things I can show you..."  
He bends down and sucks the skin on Jon's throat into his mouth, leaving a bruise.

"I want to mark you as my property, so no one dares to ever touch you again."  
He bites down hard on his shoulder and Jon cries out when he feels the skin break, blood trickling down his collarbone.  
Euron laps it up hungrily.

"You taste sweeter than the sweetest summer wine... Give me your mouth, my boy..."

Jon doesn't turn his head away. He tastes his own blood on Euron's tongue, salt and iron. Or perhaps it's Euron's taste, he can't figure it out anymore.  
Euron bites his way down to Jon's stomach, drawing blood every so often. He lingers for a moment, breathing in Jon's scent, then bares his teeth into a ghastly grin.

"Not enjoying yourself, hm? We can change that very quickly."

And to Jon's horror he's right. When his hot mouth envelopes his cock he can feel himself harden against his will.  
Euron laughs in delight.

"See, my boy? Now I can take you like I want, you'll enjoy that as well. Don't despair... I'll make you come from my cock alone, you'll see..."  
And without preparation he enters Jon to the hilt. Jon can't bite back a scream.  
"Yes, scream for me, my boy, scream my name. I want to hear it from your lips, tell me how much you love it when I'm fucking you bloody..."

And Jon does. He hates himself, but he obeys.  
Then Euron suddenly angles his thrusts differently, he hits a spot inside Jon that makes him see stars.  
Thrust after thrust hits that secret spot until the world explodes and Jon comes like never before.

After that it seems to last forever until Euron grunts and with a last brutal thrust fills Jon with his seed.  
Jon sobs quietly. He feels humiliated. Bizarrely, the worst is that he got off on this.

Euron is snoring beside him, his arms like a vice around Jon, when he hears a commotion in the yard.


	17. Little Theon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theon does something incredibly stupid.

Jon tries to wriggle out of Euron's arms, to no avail.  
"Where do you think you're going, my boy?"  
Of course he's awake.

"There seems to be someone down there. I wanted to look out of the window."  
Maybe the truth is his best choice.

Euron allows him to get up, clumsily, his wrists still tied together before him.  
When he scampers over to the window, he can see some men fighting, but he can't make out any details.  
_Please, let it not be Robb_.

A presence behind him. A hand on his throat. Not meant threateningly, Jon is sure, caressing. It feels threatening all the same.  
"Probably just one of Aeron's tiresome attempts to escape. He's doing it all the time. You needn't care."  
A hardness against his back. A face in his hair, breathing hard, open-mouthed.

Jon doesn't care. Better get used to it as quickly as possible.  
He turns around, kisses him hard. Playing his little whore. Pretending makes things easier.

Euron's elated.  
"Come around now, have you? Missing my cock already? As you wish, my boy. Kneel."  
Jon kneels.

"Now open those perfect lips for me, come on, my boy, open wide."

Afterwards he cuts him loose.

"You wouldn't betray me, my boy, would you?"  
"No. I swore I'll do anything you want."  
"And what do _you_ want?"  
"You." Jon hopes it sounds convincing.

Jon is still on his knees and Euron looks down on him smiling, his fingers carding through Jon's hair roughly.  
It's curiously silent all of a sudden and Jon wonders what all the noise was about.

He finds out not a minute later when the door flings open and two Ironborn soldiers enter. Between them-  
Jon hopes this is a nightmare.

Euron looks at his nephew, throws back his head and roars with laughter. His eyes are sparkling and his demeanor is disturbing enough for the men to leave in a haste.  
They haven't chained Theon or anything, but one is holding a bow and quiver that now clatter to the ground at their exit.

"My, what an unexpected present! Little Theon wishes to call on his uncle, how nice! Come, nephew, give me a kiss!"

Jon nearly chokes when Theon raises his head and spits straight into Euron's face.  
Euron just laughs louder.  
"So this is the game you've come to play! I'm terribly sorry but I'm already engaged at present. Maybe I can see to you later!"

Theon's head whips around. He hasn't seen Jon yet, standing behind Euron in the shadows. Now he does.  
His eyes widen and he snarls with fury and horror.  
Jon is so ashamed. He wants to cover himself, but there's nothing near him, so he just stares back.

"I'll kill you for this, uncle!"

Euron looks from one to the other, his chest heaving when he understands.  
He backhands Jon so hard he crashes into the wall.  
"YOU SLUT!!!!"

Theon is over him before he can react, but he isn't a match for his uncle's strength. A fist to the stomach has him flying backwards against the door.  
His hands fumble behind him and when Jon looks up from where he's fallen on the floor, an arrow is pointing straight at Euron's heart.

But he hesitates and Euron seizes the moment. He yanks Jon up by the hair, pushing him in front of his body, an arm around his throat.  
Jon claws at it desperately but it just pushes even harder. His vision starts to go black when he feels a red hot pain at his cheek, hears a horrible sound from behind.

Suddenly the arm is gone, he can breathe again, but he can't stand upright anymore. He falls to the floor, one hand propping him up, the other at his squashed throat.  
Something warm is trickling down his face, and when he touches it, his finger come away bloody. The world seems to falter. Everything goes blank.

***

"Should we tell him?"  
A voice he knows. Robb.  
"I don't know mylord. Maybe wait till he's stronger again."  
Maester Luwin?  
"I think he's waking up, look at his eyes."  
Father.  
"Jon? Jon!!!"  
Arya! Jon wants to smile but it hurts.  
"Don't move, Jon. We're here."  
Bran.  
They're all there, but why? Is he sick? Slowly he opens his eyes.

A lot of worried faces are around him and he frowns.  
He wants to ask what happened, but when he tries, all there is is pain and a dreadful sound.

"Don't try to speak, your throat is pretty badly hurt. The maester says it'll take some time, but it's going to heal."  
An image shoots through Jon's mind. An arm around his throat.  
He blinks. Memories come flooding back.

Rickon???  
He tries to get up, but his brother pushes him back.  
Maester Luwin hands him a piece of parchment and a pen.

Jon scribbles hastily, nearly unreadable.  
"Rickon's home, don't worry. He's perfectly fine, not a scratch."

Euron?? Another quick scrawl.  
"Dead."

How?  
"You don't remember? An arrow, straight through the eye. Got your cheek, but it's just a scratch. He said it's the best shot he's ever managed.

Where is he? The most important question.  
They trade looks. Robb seems uncomfortable.  
"Gone. Back to Pyke."


	18. All is lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon recovers, only not his heart.  
> An unexpected visit brings interesting news.

It takes a long while, but eventually Jon is able to speak and eat reasonably normal again.  
They all tiptoe around him all the time, even Lady Catelyn spares him her usual nasty remarks.

But nothing they do seems to help. Jon feels sick all the time, no matter what he does.  
The maester is at his wits' end, too. There's no potion to heal a broken heart.

And Jon can't be mad, or surprised even. He's spoiled, broken, no good anymore.  
He wouldn't want himself if he'd have the choice, why should someone else?

Days go by and the memories stay sharp, burned into his brain.  
He can't forget the look of disgust in his face when he'd seen him.

Sometimes Jon wonders. Why had he been there in the first place? For Asha? Because her uncle had taken her home?  
Seems stupid to nearly kill oneself over a rented castle.

Jon tries to forget, he tries so hard. He must forget. He must forget!  
Jon can't forget. He's just forgotten.

That afternoon he's in the godswood with Robb. He's not praying, not anymore.  
They just sit and talk to pass the time, when Lady Catelyn comes running, her skirts flying behind her.

"Come quick, boys, make haste, make haste!!"  
Robb's suspicious.  
"What is it, mother?"  
"There's just come a big wheelhouse, and it has a kraken on the side!"

Jon feels like fainting. He shakes his head. There's no way it could be him.

It's Lord Edmure and Sansa. With them - unbefuckinglievable - Balon Greyjoy.  
Lord Stark tries to complement him into the hall, but he's having none of it.

Instead, a gnarly finger points at Jon.  
"You there. Show me your godswood. Now, don't stare at me, move!"  
Jon is perplex but does as he's told. As soon as they're alone, Balon stops.

"Now, I want to make this clear once and for all. Stay away from my son!"  
Jon doesn't understand.

"Are you dumb, bastard? Stay away or he'll just subject you to his buggery, you hear me?"  
Jon can't think of anything to answer that. Balon grows impatient.

"Or is it already done, ha? Got his dirty cock up your arse, ha?"  
Now Jon has had enough.  
"I don't mean to be disrespectful, my lord, but that's none of your business."

The old man scoffs.  
"That what you think? Answer me! Have you or have you not?"  
"I have not."

Balon seems to deflate a little.  
"Good. Now swear to me, here in front of your old gods, that you will never."  
"I will do no such thing, my lord. It's not in your power to make me do something or not."

"You insolent bastard, don't you know what's good for you? It's you I'm protecting here from that worthless piece of shit. Show a little more gratefulness!"

Jon's vision goes red. He grabs the old man by the collar and he brings his face near his when he snarls at him.  
"Don't you speak about him like that, you old cunt! He's the one who rescued me from a terrible fate, he's the one who survived all your and your brother's shit, he's-"

His anger evaporating, he lets go and steps back.  
"-he's the one I love."

And he turns and flees, Balon's laughter in his ears, his words haunting him.  
"You're just the same shit as he is, bastard!"

The others are still in the yard when Jon comes running. He makes a beeline for his room, but Ned catches his sleeve.  
"What happened? Jon, you're crying!"  
"Nothing, father. I fear our honoured guests must leave again now."  
And he disappears into the building, five pairs of eyes curiously staring after him.

Jon falls on his bed, shaking allover, trying to get a grip on himself.  
But he can't quench the tiny flutter of hope in his chest.


	19. Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All's well that ends well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At least someone's happy again.

The news have the whole Winterfell household in uproar.  
Lady Catelyn hasn't shut up for a single second since they'd learned of the good tidings.

"She's coming back, she's coming back. And unmarried still! Ned, you have to visit her the day she shows up!"  
But Ned shakes his head.  
"The last time she came you promised me she'd wed one of our sons when I call on her and it all came to nothing!"

"But Ned, she's still single, still rich, there's still a chance!!"  
Ned is not convinced.  
"Robb, what do you think of it?"

Robb seems composed.  
"You may call on her if you wish, father, I have no problem with that. She's our neighbour and we should be respectful, no matter what."

So Ned does, and when he comes back he has good news for his wife.  
"You're going to be very pleased with me, Cat. I invited Lady Asha to dinner tomorrow and she's accepted."  
Lady Catelyn is pleased indeed.

When the day comes, she's all over Robb again.  
"Where's your green tunic? No no no, get the blue one, it brings out the colour of your eyes. Aren't you done yet? She'll be here any second!"

Robb is exasperated.  
"Please, mother, I'll be ready when I'm ready. Let Arya greet her, they were as thick as thieves at her feast."

"Oh, hang Arya, what's she to do with it? Now, make haste!!"  
She is unstoppable, but Robb simply shuffles her out of the room.

Lady Asha is sharp on time and while Robb is too embarrassed to even look at her, Jon notices her gaze. It doesn't leave Robb for a second.  
The dinner passes awkwardly and they go to bed early.  
Robb insists on sleeping in Jon's room that night.

The next morning Lady Asha leaves early. Lady Catelyn in mystified when she discovers this.  
"She'll be back, won't she? All her belongings are still in her room. I wonder where she has left so early."

Arya gives her an answer soon. She's been hanging about in the Broken Tower, and now she comes running.  
"She's coming back, she's coming back!! And her brother's with her!"

Robb's eyes find Jon's and they share a panicked look.  
When Lady Asha and Lord Theon enter the room, Jon is on the edge of fainting.

Lady Asha wastes no time.  
"I would like to speak to you alone, Robb."  
And Robb just doesn't have the heart to turn her down.  
Everyone suddenly remembers urgent business elsewhere and they leave the two to themselves.

Jon doesn't know what to do. His heart nearly stops when he hears the familiar voice.  
"Will you show me your gardens?"

They reach the glass gardens in silence. Jon is adamant not to be the first to speak.  
Soon, the pressure is too big and he gives in.

"I never thanked you."  
"Don't. There's nothing to thank me for."  
"There isn't? You saved me from a horrible fate that night."  
"I wasn't there soon enough."

Jon knows what he means. He's already tainted. Depraved.  
He whispers, "I'm so sorry."

This seems to enrage Theon; he stops and looks into Jon's face.  
"Why in the seven hells would you apologize?"  
"For... for doing the things that I did? For agreeing to everything he did? For being his?"

"Did you want it?"  
"No. Yes. I don't know. He made me want it."  
"Then it's not your fault, is it?" He sighs. "I'm the one to apologize. I shouldn't have left you like this."

Jon smiles sadly.  
"I understand. I'm... not who I was before."  
Theon is incredulous.  
"What do you mean?"

"He ruined me. I've seen you looking at me. I still bear his marks. How could you ever..."  
Theon's eyes widen. "You think... you believe I didn't want you anymore just because of what he did to you?"  
Jon nods.  
"Drowned God, Jon! You're still... you'll always be... I love you. Nothing can change that. I'm so sorry I let this happen"

Jon can't believe his ears.  
"You still love me. You still want me."

"Of course I do!!! How could you ever doubt that? I've loved you from the first day and I will until my last."  
Jon sobs, his heart nearly bursting in his chest.  
Theon's arms are around him immediately, he rests his lips against Jon's forehead and just holds him while the sobs are shaking his body.

"I shouldn't have left. I thought you'd never want to see me again. I thought you were angry with me because of what my uncle did to you. I should've come sooner."

"Why'd you come now?"

And to Jon's surprise Theon chuckles.  
"Well, I paid my honoured father a visit and he didn't even greet me, he just attacked me and after enough repetition of the worst filth he's capable of I could puzzle together most of what he's talked with you."  
Jon's cheeks redden when he thinks how he manhandled the sick old lord.

"And he said you said you love me and I was out of the door not one minute later. I didn't know if it was really true, but it let me hope again. I know you well enough by now. You wouldn't have had any problem telling my father if you really disliked me. You said it to my face already."

Jon groans.  
"Please, let's not speak of that. I was really mean to you."  
"I deserved it then. I deserve it still. I don't deserve you, but I have to ask again."

Jon smiles and closed his eyes. His head leans on Theon's chest and he mumbles,  
"You don't have to ask. I'll follow you anywhere."


	20. Take me Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A wedding and some farewells.

When they return to the hall they don't touch. Jon wants to speak to Robb and his father alone first.  
Robb already comes towards Jon and the wide smile on his face can only mean one thing.

"She still loves me! She loved me all the time, it was just a monstrous misunderstanding!"  
"The other man?"  
"A smith, I was right. She saw him because - oh Jon! - because she wanted to comission a sword, as a gift, for me!"  
"So Kyra lied to you? Why?"  
"I don't know. Asha suspects she wanted to suck up to Lord Theon. He really didn't want us to be together, but she doesn't care at all!"  
"Robb, I'm so happy for you!"  
"She's already gone to speak to father. As soon as we can arrange the wedding we'll be married! Jon, I'm so happy, I don't know how I deserve so much happiness!"  
"If anyone does, it's you."  
"I just wish you could be as happy as I am. After all you've been through I just want to see you laugh again."  
"You will, very soon. Listen, Robb. I have to tell you something. But don't laugh at me!"

Robb is curious.  
"I won't. Promise."

"I'm going to leave Winterfell after your wedding."  
"Please don't tell me you're going to join the Night's Watch."  
"Oh no! Oh, speaking of the Night's Watch - please remind me when Benjen arrives for the wedding, I have a bone to pick with him."

Robb chuckles.  
"You mean the raven he's sent to Lord Theon the second he knew where Rickon was? Let's be grateful he did!"  
"I am, but he should've told me!"

Robb returns to their former topic.  
"So it's not the Wall. Where will you be going then?"

Jon smiles.  
"Pyke."  
"Another trip?"  
"No. I'm going to live there."

Robb's mouth falls open.  
"Does that mean you- you and him are- but you never even liked him!"  
"I didn't, at the beginning. But I do now."  
"Since when did you like him?"

Jon grins.  
"Must've been the day I saw the gigantic castle he's lord of."  
Robb rolls his eyes.  
"Be serious, Jon. How long have you liked him?"  
"It came on so gradually... I can't even really say. But he loves me, after all that was, and I'm going with him."

Robb looks sad.  
"I'll miss you, Jon. But if he makes you happy..."  
"Only he can. You'll visit me, yes? You'll love the sea."  
They hug for a long time, both saying goodbye to their childhood.

Ned is a bigger obstacle.  
"Haven't you had enough of that Greyjoy clan already? First that mad dog Euron and now Lord Sourface!"

Jon sighs.  
"You don't know him, father. But I do."  
"Haven't you hated him? I seem to recall something like this."  
"You're right, but everything's changed. And don't forget it was him who brought Rickon home."

Ned's still grumbling.  
"So you just up and go? Leave Winterfell, leave your family? For some arrogant, melancholic Greyjoy?"

Jon smiles and goes to hug his father.  
"I love him. He loves me."

Ned awkwardly pats his back and sighs.  
"If that's the case... then he deserves you. Now send him in so I can put the fear of the gods in him if he ever so much as hurts a hair on your head!"

***

It's the biggest wedding feast Winterfell has seen since Rickard Stark had wed Lyarra, Ned's mother.  
The groom nearly blinds the crowd with his smile and when the bride whispers something in his ear, he turns bright red.

Lady Catelyn is sobbing blissfully during the whole ceremony.  
"One son and one daughter married, another boy accommodated. The Mother is good to us!"

Her gaze falls on Arya and she squints.  
"You're next, missy!"  
Arya just rolls her eyes.

When the festivities are over and the happy couple has moved into their new chambers, the time has come to say farewell.  
Neither Jon nor Robb can hold back the tears when they hug for the umpteenth time that day.

When they stop at an inn for the night, Theon takes Jon's face into his palms.  
"Are you very sad?"  
Jon smiles at him through another wave of tears.  
"I'm so so so happy."

When they reach the shore they stop on top of the cliffs before getting down to the boat.  
Jon is staring at the waves, Theon's arms around him and there's nothing that could make this moment more perfect.  
Except one.

"Sing that song to me and take me home."


	21. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bubblewrapstargirl requested an epilogue, so here it is.

The rain is drifting in through the window but Jon couldn't care less.  
He's lying on the bed, his only cover a thick blanket. He's waiting for Theon's return.  
Finally he's here and smiles upon seeing Jon waiting for him like this.

"Apologies... have you been waiting long?"  
"An eternity it seems... but now you're here."

Theon bows down and kisses him languidly.  
But then he wants to retreat again and Jon has had enough.  
In a flash he wraps his arms around Theon's neck and pulls him down. The attack surprises him and he tumbles over Jon.

"What are you doing?"  
"What I'm here for."

Theon tries to get up but Jon won't let him.  
"What's the matter? Don't you... don't you want me?"

With a sigh Theon gives up his struggle and collapses on the bed next to Jon. He props himself up on one arm.  
"Don't be absurd. Why wouldn't I? Look at you! It's just... I thought you'd need some time."

"I've been here for three weeks now, how much time do I have to take to ensure you... I want you."  
Theon reaches out and softly caresses Jon's lips with his fingertips.

"You don't have to rush. You're not obliged to do anything."  
Jon rolls his eyes in frustration. He takes Theon's hand and presses it to the bulge beneath the blanket.  
"I am ready. I was ready for you when you first kissed me. I've been more than ready for the past three weeks. I'm going mad here!"

Theon chuckles but doesn't move his hand away.  
"As you wish, my love."  
And he moves closer to Jon, sliding under the blanket with him, drawing him into his arms and kissing him softly.  
Jon groans and takes his lover's face into his palms, deepening the kiss, his tongue darting out to meet Theon's.

Theon's hands are all over his body, stroking, caressing, too cautious. Then, suddenly, finally, he seems to gain confidence, rolling his body on top of Jon's.  
He's leaning on his arms and staring down at him with the hungry expression of a man fasting for years.  
Another kiss, more urgently this time, has Jon clinging to Theon in something near pain.

"Aren't you wicked, love..."  
He starts kissing down Jon's throat, his shoulder. When he reaches the first scar he stops.  
The teeth mark is still clearly visible. It seems to be a permanent blemish and Jon wants to hide it, cover them all.

But Theon just bends his head down and kisses the mark, softly first, then rougher.  
He looks up at Jon's face and his eyes are serious.  
"I'm going to hurt you now. I'm sorry... I need to do this.  
And Jon wants him to do it, lay his mark over Euron's, erase the mark, the man, the thought.

The bite comes fast and Jon hisses, it really hurts a lot. But he welcomes the pain, and every one after it.  
When it's done, Theon is kneeling between his legs, surveying his work.  
There's still one thing, though.

When he's sure Jon is okay, he slowly wraps his long fingers around his cock, stroking up and down, caressing the tip until Jon moans, the pain forgotten.  
He gets up and Jon nearly cries out at the sudden desertion, but Theon is back quickly enough.  
His hands are now warm and slick with something and he reaches down and slowly circles his fingers around Jon's entrance.

Jon thinks he's going to explode with bliss when the finger enters him and slowly starts to move.  
"I want you... please... I want you so much! Make me yours, please!"

When he feels Theon's hard cock pushing inside, his stammers become completely incoherent, he doesn't even hear what he's saying anymore.  
And when he starts moving, all clear thoughts vanish, except one.  
"I love you... I love you so!"

When they're both spent and exhausted, laying entwined upon the bed, the blanket forgotten at their feet, Jon chuckles.  
Theon, his chin resting on Jon's chest, looks up.  
"What's so funny, love?"  
Jon smiles at him.  
"Bet you didn't know what a wanton creature you were acquiring."

Theon smiles, too.  
"Do you mean, you... Again? Right now?"  
"I'm sorry, do you need more time?"  
"You cheeky little thing, I'll show you what I need!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, best leave them alone now... I'm not very good at this, reddening and biting my lip and worrying and reddening some more XD


End file.
